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You Were Trained to Disappear

You were taught that being low maintenance made you lovable.

The conditioning runs deep. You have spent years — possibly decades — minimizing your needs, shrinking your desires, and making yourself easier to keep. This was not a personal choice. It was training. And training can be unlearned.

What this means

The belief that you must be "low maintenance" to be loved is one of the most insidious lies in the conditioning of women.

Every time you downplay what you need, you are reinforcing the belief that your needs are too much.

The work begins with one question: what would I want if I believed I was allowed to want it?

The book that meets you here

She Was Not Low Maintenance, She Was Trained

by Nikita Datar

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